


Only the Brave

by 99MillionMiles



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alpha Victor Nikiforov, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Adoptive Parent Victor Nikiforov, Eventual Happy Ending, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Healing, Healing Katsuki Yuuri, Healing from trauma, Hurt/Comfort, Katsuki Yuuri Has a Child, Katsuki Yuuri is Stronger than You Think, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Nesting, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Katsuki Yuuri, Omega Verse, Omegaverse, Panic Attacks, Post Mpreg, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Victor Nikiforov, Rape Recovery, Recovering Katsuki Yuuri, Recovery, Support Alpha Victor Nikiforov, Supportive Victor Nikiforov, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:55:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27976974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/99MillionMiles/pseuds/99MillionMiles
Summary: She asks him if he's still available as a support alpha. She tells him that it needs to be him, and nobody else.Victor's shocked. He was aware that this moment would come, that it was only a matter of time. He knew this would happen.He just didn't know it would behim.With eyes wide open and mouth gaping in shock, Victor learns that Katsuki Yuuri is alive.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 35
Kudos: 192





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [What I Used To Be](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6915553) by [thepinupchemist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepinupchemist/pseuds/thepinupchemist). 



> Almost five years ago I read a wonderful fanfic, which inspired me to write this one and which I strongly encourage you to read if you're into Stucky. I've wanted to write my own version of this kind of story ever since, and now I feel like it's finally the right time to try my hand with such a complex topic. Even though I know this is something which many fanfic authors have dealt with already, I want to try and write my own recovery fic. Also, I want to state that I sadly don't own Yuuri on ice.  
> That being said, in case it isn't obvious: the non-con DID NOT HAPPEN between Yuuri and Victor. They never even kissed before the events of this fanfic.  
> Please mind the tags, and enjoy.

Victor still remembers his eyes.

It's weird, how his memory falters about everything else but _this_. Weird, how he seems to be unable to recall most details about that night, and yet he can say _this_ with absolute certainty. He can't remember what colour Yuuri's tie was; he's not sure if Yuuri's hair was styled back, the way it was during competitions, or not. He can't even recall if Yuuri had his glasses on when he threw his arms around his shoulders and asked him to go and coach him in Japan.

Yuuri's eyes, though.

They're still vivid in his memory, in the same undying way his mothers' are. They are stored in a special place in Victor's brain. The one that keeps all precious things always close to his heart, like the taste of his mama's _blini_ or the smell of his mam's perfume. The way Makkachin looked so tiny and adorably fuzzy the first they they met, like her fur wasn't yet sure what direction it wanted to grow in. The sight of his own bloody feet covered in band-aids and scars, because it proved how closer and closer Victor was getting to becoming a professional skater.

Sure, there are other precious things stored in that special place in Victor's brain. How unexpectedly light his first gold medal felt against his chest. How heart-shattering it was to suddenly realize Yakov was the closest thing to a father he would ever have, and how it didn't scare him despite having already lost his mothers years before. How liberating it felt to get drunk with Chris and finally understand what it was like to have a best friend.

That night. How warm Yuuri's hand had been against his face, fingertips grazing his grey hair and lips an inch apart from his. How beautiful and adoring Yuuri had looked as he had wrapped a hand around Victor's middle, holding Victor's back against his chest. How they had laughed and danced the night away, how they had moved with shameless abandon. How _right_ it had felt all along.

Unfortunately, the things Victor can't forget aren't all good. He will never forget about his mothers' accident. Nor will he ever forget how desperately he had been searching for Yuuri after that night, looking for him anywhere in the hotel he was told Yuuri was staying at, and how devastated he had felt when the news of Yuuri's kidnapping had broken out.

It's been almost three years since.

Victor's dozing off on his couch, Makkachin sprawled out on his chest and stomach, when his phone buzzes with a notification. It's a cold late evening in Saint Petersburg and the television is playing softly in the background, lulling Victor to sleep even though it's rather early to go to bed. Sometimes, it feels like the loneliness is slowly choking him to death. Not today; today Makkachin snores quietly and her head rests where Victor's heart beats, and the warmth of her breath against the fabric of Victor's shirt keeps all bad feelings at bay.

When his phone buzzes again, and again, and _again_ , enough that even Makkachin lifts her head to look at the coffee table where Victor has put it earlier, he finally yawns and gives it a slightly irritated look. He hopes it's not some insistent journalist asking him yet again when he'll be coming back to the ice.

(Probably never. It doesn't feel good anymore.)

It's a bunch of e-mails from one of the many omegas' rights organization he has supported for the last ten years. His mothers both used to be activists, and Victor likes to think that they'd be proud to know he's trying to do his part too.

The first e-mail provides him with a short summary of the new initiatives that the organization has planned for next month and of the goals it has already reached. Victor had nearly forgotten that it's almost April already.

He reads the entire report and smiles at himself, knowing he has played a very small part in making everything possible. Then he checks the second e-mail, which thanks him for the big donation he made a few days ago. Lastly, he opens the last one. It becomes very clear to him very soon that it was sent to him and him only, and that its contents exponentially differ from those of the previous e-mails.

With eyes wide open and mouth gaping in shock, Victor learns that Katsuki Yuuri is alive.

Some people hypothesized that he had been murdered, rather than kidnapped. Some others even went as far as speculating that he had taken his own life after his last disastrous performance, unable to survive his own disappointment in himself. But Victor had always refused to listen to those talks; the night before his mysterious disappearance, Yuuri had been bold and cheerful and stunning. He had smelled happy and fearless. And, quite frankly, like Victor's best dream turned reality.

Ever the hopeless romantic, Victor had laid awake in his bed all night after the banquet ended. Heart racing and chest rising and falling quickly, he had lost his sleep to wonderful thoughts of Yuuri becoming his mate, wearing Victor's mark and giving his to Victor, choosing the name of their firstborn. He knew that it was ridiculous, to imagine it all after one single night spent together with Yuuri. That those were the kind of foolish thoughts you'd expect from a silly pup making heart eyes at their first crush.

Still.

Even after Yuuri had seemed to have completely vanished in thin air, Victor had still thought of him often. Had always wondered where Yuuri had disappeared to. If he was okay. Somewhere deep inside him, Victor had always known he was alive.

Still, his breath falters when he finishes reading the e-mail.

“Hello?” He says into his phone a few seconds later. He got the number wrong the first time he dialled it. He knows his voice is shaking, but he can't bring himself to care. “Sabre?”

This time, the number he dialled is correct. Sabre is the head of the organization she runs. She was friends with Victor's mothers, and encouraged him to pursue his dream of skating competitively even after they passed. She was also the one Victor often turned to for advice while growing up through the last of his teen years, when there was no family left for him to ask embarrassing questions to.

He's shocked that he's the one Sabre decided to assign this responsibility to, but perhaps he shouldn't be. She trusts him, even – _especially_ – with this, and that's no surprise. He knew this moment would come. It was only a matter of time. He _expected_ this to happen.

He just didn't expect it to be Yuuri.

Sabre asks him if he's still available as a support alpha. She reminds him that Victor told her he was willing to take that responsibility something like _seven_ years ago, and that it's okay if he has changed his mind. She gently adds that he doesn't have anything to prove. That he doesn't owe it to his mothers. That he's free to make his own decision and she won't judge him for it.

Victor listens to her words, takes a few calming breaths, stands from the couch and walks to the balcony. He opens the door, walks to the railing, and watches the sun as it slowly sets on Saint Petersburg.

He grabs the balcony railing with one hand while he keeps his phone close to his ear with the other. He never thought he would ever leave this city for real.

If he closes his eyes and empties his mind completely, he can almost hear the seagulls squawk in the far distance.

“Can I ask just one question?” He says, lifting his eyelids again.

Sabre is quiet before she replies. Victor knows she won't disclose anything about Yuuri's situation until he agrees to provide the support he'll need to heal. But this is not about Yuuri's story. It's about Victor himself.

“Let's hear it,” Sabre says carefully.

Victor steels himself for what he's going to say. He's not even _sure_ he can say it. But he has to know.

He thinks of Yuuri's dark eyes, so big and full of life the night they met. He's breathless when he speaks again.

“Why me?”

Sabre stays silent for a few long, endless seconds. Makkachin noses at Victor's knee. The sky is tinted in soft hues of blue, orange and pink. Victor can't tear his gaze away from the setting sun.

His heart is hammering in his throat.

“There's something you should see,” Sabre finally says.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I just want to perform it one last time,” he smiles sadly, “before I forget how to do it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the events of this chapter actually take place BEFORE (a few days before) the events of chapter 1.  
> Chapter was beta'd by [psipisi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/psipisi/pseuds/psipisi%22%22)~  
> Enjoy!

“Yuuri-kun,” Yuko calls softly.

There are tears in her eyes, but Yuuri smiles sadly and pretends that there aren't. “Please,” he says, in a hushed tone, not for the first time since they walked into the building. He wraps his hand around Yuko's phone, taking it from where it's almost falling out of her hoodie pocket, and gives it to her gently. “It's either this, or nothing at all.”

Yuko snuffles quietly, and her eyes are kind and sad. Yuuri imagines his must look the same. “But,” she protests, and doesn't end the sentence.

Yuuri nods to show he understands. His hand squeezes hers, feels the warmth of her own even though her phone is still held in between their palms.

He has such fond memories of this place. He remembers spending entire afternoons here with Yuko as they dreamed of one day skating side by side with Victor, or straight-up just sat on the benches and gossiped about Victor and his dog and his omega mothers and his stunning blue eyes, his beautiful hair, the grace he moved with when he danced on the ice. He remembers Nishigori already falling for Yuko and how secretly terrified he was of the possibility of Yuuri turning out to be an alpha, marrying her in his place. He could snort just thinking about it. He, presenting as alpha. Unfortunately, he wasn't that lucky.

If he were, he wouldn't have spent the last three years locked away in a basement.

He wouldn't need to have to go through the exhausting procedure of removing the worst of his memories from his brain, either. He won't forget  _ everything _ , but some good things will be erased along with the bad ones. Many will stay. He won't forget his pup, but he  _ will _ forget giving birth to her, thankfully, because that memory alone has him laying in his bed with his eyes wide open every single night. Most of what he's had to live through during the last three years will be removed from his brain, including the last few weeks, and that's not a bad thing.  _ This _ will go too, though, and he knows it.

At the end of each session, he's asked to say what he remembers. He can always recall much less than he could the previous time, and it's always a blessing.

It hurts to let go of this  _ too _ , though. It is one of the very few things that has kept him alive and willing to heal ever since he got out of the basement. He's sure he'll miss it, without even knowing it. He wonders how many good things he's already forgotten. It's a big price he has to pay for salvation.

“It shouldn't  _ be _ ,” Yuko finally says, unknowingly stopping him before he can lose himself in the darkest depths of his mind. “It shouldn't be either this or nothing. Are you sure – ”

Yuuri cuts her off quietly. “I am,” he confirms.

Yuko lets go of his hand only to put her phone on the floor. It almost fell from her pocket a few times already. Yuuri can see the analogy there – how things are destined to break no matter how hard one might try to avoid it. He's sure that Yuko won't always remember to put her phone where it's safe. At some point she will put it back in her pocket, and it will fall from there to the floor and shatter in a hundred pieces.

Yuko's hand slips back in Yuuri's and squeezes it tight.

“I can already feel it slipping away,” Yuuri explains, once again fighting against his own mind so he doesn't lose himself to his fears. “I just want to perform it one last time,” he smiles sadly, “before I forget how to do it.  _ Please _ , Yu-chan. Don't fight me on this.”

Yuko watches him for a long moment. Yuuri wonders if she's thinking what he supposes everyone must think when they see him – that he's a poor unfortunate omega who had everything taken from him, so he should be allowed to make his own decisions now that he has the power to again. It does  _ not _ make him happy, the way everyone treats him like they expect him to break at any moment, how they handle him carefully like he's as fragile as glass. Right now, however, he needs it. He needs Yuko to accept his decision even if it's only out of piety, because he  _ knows _ it's the right thing to do.

“If you're really sure,” she concedes, voice wet.

Yuuri nods. “I am.”

He skates Victor's program for the last time before this disappears from his memory, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is always appreciated~ if you want to, say hi on my tumbrl @99millionmilesaway . See you soon!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Yuuri can tell Victor is on his way long before he actually sees him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter was beta'd by [psipisi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/psipisi/pseuds/psipisi%22%22)~  
> Enjoy!

Yuuri can tell Victor is on his way long before he actually sees him.

Perhaps it's because Yuuri has spent entire decades watching him dance on the ice, studying his every movement, anticipating his every flip and loop. He's become somehow attuned to Victor's body and mind well before he even ever spoke to him. Or maybe it's just his own wishful thinking, his own restless impatience, that makes him feel like Victor's close. Closer than he's ever been to him.

Yuuri still can't quite believe that his very  _ idol _ is going to be his support alpha.

But 'idol' is not the right word to describe him. Victor has been nothing short of a god to Yuuri for all these years, and it scares Yuuri to know he's going to live in close quarters to him – scares him in a way that has nothing to do with the fear that pools in his stomach sometimes late at night, when he wakes up drenched in his own sweat and can't quite understand  _ why _ he's so scared.

(Yuuri knows it's only a blessing that his memories were erased, he  _ does _ . But somewhere deep within him, he also knows this: that his body remembers, even if his mind doesn't.)

Yuuri helps his daughter get dressed in warm, comfortable clothes, and realizes that fear is not the right word for how he feels, either. His words are failing him, but he forces himself to focus. It's not  _ fear _ . It feels like indigestion, like the endless seconds of absolute silence deep within him before a new performance on the ice. Anticipation.

Perhaps, even hope.

When Sabre had told him that  _ the _ Victor Nikiforov had been confirmed as his support alpha, he had almost passed out on the spot. Yuuri was well aware that Victor was a strong supporter of omega rights and that he had always been passionate about it, but...

Yuuri takes a deep breath to steady himself. Aiko squirms in his arms, and Yuuri smiles at her reassuringly while he brushes her black hair out of her brown eyes. She looks adorable in the new light blue hoodie that Yuko gave to them as a gift, along with all the baby stuff she and Nishigori don't need anymore. Yuuri ties Aiko's hair up in two short ponytails by each side of her head while she gnaws on her favourite plush toy.

He doesn't  _ think _ his body will react negatively to Victor, but rationally he knows he might be wrong. Thing is, he knows so much about Victor that he can't help but think he can't do no wrong.

He can recall every single one of Victor's interviews that he watched. He knows more about Victor's hobbies and likings that he can recall about his own from before he was kidnapped. Knows that Victor had two omega mothers whom loved him dearly and cried non-stop for a week when he presented as alpha. Knows Victor had been struggling with his secondary gender identity for a long time during his teen years, since as a kid he had always been so convinced he'd present as omega. He  _ knows _ that if there's an alpha out there who might at least come  _ close _ to understanding what it's like to be an omega, it's Victor.

But Yuuri also knows that most people feel that way about celebrities. Like they can do no wrong just  _ because _ they're celebrities. Like they always know how to behave, what to say, how to be considerate at all times. And – since Yuuri  _ used _ to be somewhat of a celebrity himself – he knows that there's nothing real about such delusions. That they're just that – delusions. Celebrities are not perfect human beings. They're just like everyone else.

Victor is a celebrity,  _ and _ he's also a fallible human being.

But Sabre knew what she was doing when she told Yuuri about the possibility of Victor being his support alpha. She had this determined look in her eyes that was already a promise.

When Yuuri had told Sabre that he wanted to be assigned a support alpha, they had been given a few scent samples to choose between as a way to establish which one of the available support alphas could be the one right for them based on scent compatibility. Yuuri's and Aiko's choice had been unanimous.

Sea salt, lavender and lemon. That's what the scent reminded Yuuri of. Something calming and loving that felt like a tender hug, along with the alpha undertones that spoke of protection and strength and not just the promise of warmth. Something Yuuri could  _ confide _ in.

Yuuri had thought it smelled familiar, like something he must have already caught a whiff of in the past. Little did he know he was actually right – he  _ had _ . Even if Victor was known to always use suppressant and was wearing them, too, the few times Yuuri had walked close enough to him to catch a hint of what his actual scent would be had he not been using them, Yuuri's brain had memorized Victor's scent. Not just because it was Victor's – but because they were perfectly compatible with one another. That's why Yuuri had been able to catch a whiff of Victor's real scent even if others hadn't, his inner omega being able to distinguish that scent among hundreds even as dulled as it had been by the suppressants.

He couldn't help but wonder if Victor had caught a whiff of Yuuri's dulled scent, too, and if he had even realized it was Yuuri's. If the scent compatibility and chemical attraction went both ways. At the time Yuuri hadn't even  _ thought _ the scent could be Victor's, so the chances of Victor knowing about Yuuri's existence were meagre either way. Even if Victor had known that a potential mate was around, he probably hadn't even thought it could be Yuuri. Victor likely didn't even know he existed. And why would he? Victor was a phenomenal skater, a genius and a gorgeous man, and could surely have any omega, beta or alpha he wanted whenever he pleased. Yuuri was a short, average-looking omega who lacked in both self-confidence and talent, not to mention beauty and brains. And that was  _ before _ he managed to get himself kidnapped and locked into a basement for years, just to top it off.

The sound of Aiko's loud whimpering suddenly snaps Yuuri out of his trance. He blinks and blinks until he can feel his daughter's eyes finally lock with his own – or rather, until he manages to  _ look _ at them instead of simply seeing beyond them and straight at his own darkest memories, or whatever is left of them. She can undoubtedly smell that he's worried and slipping away from himself. Her eyes are wet with tears and her toy is nowhere in sight.

“Mama?” She sobs.

“Sorry, Ai-chan,” Yuuri says softly, immediately wrapping her in his arms, trying to comfort both his child and himself. “I know. Shouldn't think about it right now. I'm sorry.”

He holds her tight until he can breathe right again.

He tells himself he doesn't care if Victor is fallible, if Yuuri himself is a broken omega whom Victor wouldn't even look in the direction of would the situation be different. Aiko desperately needs all the support she can get and Yuuri will do every damn thing in his power to provide her with all the things she couldn't have in the basement. He  _ has _ to accept help, to trust his own instincts, and if he can't do that he has to at least trust his daughter's.

He owes it to her. To put his fears aside and focus on healing them both through their choices, because if he stays here in the omega shelter forever chances are Aiko will always feel like she is just as broken as he is and she  _ isn't _ . Yuuri refuses to think that.

Also, Sabre said that Victor would be the perfect match, that she'd known him for a long time, and that he'd be truly the perfect choice for the two of them. That she was so happy they unknowingly picked Victor's scent out of hundreds. She even said that she had been secretly hoping for it ever since Yuuri had made his first request ever after getting out of the basement: to know if Victor was still competing and to watch all the performances that he'd missed.

(Not that Yuuri remembers ever asking for that, since almost everything related to the three years following his kidnapping has disappeared from his mind, but it  _ does _ sound like something he'd do.)

Aiko wraps her arms around Yuuri's chest and it doesn't feel like he's drowning anymore.

Victor was his happy thought long before  _ today _ , is what Yuuri thinks as his gaze turns determined. If there's anyone who can help them heal, it's him. It's always been him.

Sabre calls Yuuri's name from the hallway, and Yuuri can already tell why.

Victor is here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback keeps me alive! Next update should be on Wednesday.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wants to ask Yuuri. _Do you remember how we danced, and laughed, and how I fell in love with you?_
> 
> They sit down, and Victor suddenly feels out of breath. _Did you fall in love with me, too?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boys finally meet!  
> Chapter was beta'd by [psipisi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/psipisi/pseuds/psipisi%22%22)~  
> . Enjoy!

Victor often feels guilty.

He feels guilty when he thinks of how ungrateful he was of his own existence when he bawled his eyes out for days and yelled as his mothers that he'd rather die than live as an alpha forever. Or when he thinks of how quick to judge fellow alphas he was – sometimes still is – before he presented as one himself (and then indeed proceeded to bawl his eyes out days and wish for a swift death rather than accept his secondary gender). He feels guilty when he wonders if things would have gone differently had his mothers never had to pick him up from skating practice the night of their car accident. If they'd be still alive, hadn't Victor been selfish.

Sometimes he still can't cope with the guilt. If he'd never started taking skating lessons – if he'd never selfishly wanted to compete and be the best out there – if he'd just asked his mothers to pick him up when he was _supposed_ to leave the rink rather than deciding to stay long after his coaching session had ended...

Point is, Victor has natural tendencies to feel horribly guilty. It's not like he feels guilty on a daily basis (and god knows he has never once felt guilty about tormenting poor Yakov with his shenanigans), but once the guilt hits it's just hard for him to shake it off.

That's why, when he catches a whiff of Yuuri's scent in the hallway and involuntarily thinks that that is the best thing he has ever smelled in his life, the guilt immediately hits him like a ton of bricks.

But he can't help it. He _loathes_ himself for it, but he still hears himself think that Yuuri smells like a dream come true long before Yuuri walks in. And, when he does, Victor hates himself all the more because his heart skips a beat upon seeing him.

It's clear that Yuuri has been through hell and back. He's skinny and he looks off in a way Victor can't place. He has a child who looks endearingly similar to him and he's holding her tight to his chest, like he wants to protect her from the bad, ugly world just outside the comforting circle of his thin arms. Not that Victor can blame him. The child herself looks pale and frail, and not like a two-year-old should look. She seems younger, skinnier than she should be. As does Yuuri.

But Yuuri's eyes have Victor's entire body growing soft and weightless.

Yuuri's not on suppressants, and even if Victor is and therefore can't smell him properly, his scent still calls to his inner alpha in a way that doesn't need words and that goes beyond standards of beauty – and even if Yuuri looks worse for wear, Victor knows that he used to be so gorgeous and breathtaking that for him it was immediate love at first sight that night in Sochi. Now that Yuuri's unmasked scent can actually reach him, Victor feels like he's falling for him all over again. Like he's almost selfishly _glad_ that Yuuri chose him and not someone else.

It's only because he's so devoted to his newly-assigned role of support alpha that Victor manages not to let his scent show how disgusted he is with himself for thinking that.

He focuses on letting out all the soothing pheromones he can instead, offering Yuuri a shaky smile as Yuuri walks past the threshold and settles his eyes on him. Victor kind of expects Yuuri to immediately lower his gaze – he went through a whole seminary about what to expect from traumatized omegas throughout the entire recovery process, and how to help – but Yuuri doesn't.

Yuuri stares at him with wide brown eyes, eyes that don't look scared at all. It's such a relief that Victor's heart sinks in his stomach. Yuuri looks like he can't quite believe his own eyes, but not because he's suspicious or upset or afraid. He looks...

He looks exactly like he did when Victor joined his and Yuri Plisetsky's dance-off in Sochi.

“Hi,” Victor says softly, offering him his hand to shake. Not to introduce himself to Yuuri, since they know one another already, but to seal his promise. He just hopes he doesn't sound as adoring as he undeniably feels. “I promise you I'll try my best.”

Yuuri doesn't quite shake it, but he does take Victor's hand in his own and just holds it for a moment, unmoving. He simply nods. “Hi,” he finally replies.

When Yuuri lets go of his hand, Victor shifts his focus to the child propped against Yuuri's hip instead because he feels like Yuuri's eyes might swallow him whole if he keeps staring into them. They are so stunning it feels like they might break Victor's heart all over again. Does Yuuri even remember about Sochi at all? Sabre told Victor that Yuuri had most of his memories from the last three years wiped from his brain, and he was seemingly kidnapped that same very night Victor fell in love with him. His heart aches at the thought and it once again feels disgustingly selfish.

“Hello to you too,” Victor says to the baby girl in Yuuri's arms. The clear resemblance with Yuuri is even more evident this up close. “What's your name?”

He obviously doesn't dare touch her, and he can tell Yuuri was worried about it because of how tense in the shoulders Victor realizes he was until Victor addressed her without making any move to touch her. He then watches Yuuri shift awkwardly when his daughter looks up at him and asks him something in a language Victor can't understand. “Um, she – she doesn't speak any English. I'm sorry. She can only speak Japanese,” Yuuri explains. “Her – her name is Aiko.”

Victor's face softens and and he lifts his head so that he's back at eye-level with Yuuri. “That sounds like a wonderful name, Yuuri.”

Yuuri fixes his glasses on the bridge of his nose and avoids Victor's gaze, only nodding stiffly in response. He doesn't smell like he's scared, but he does smell like he's nervous. Victor doubles up his efforts to let all the calming pheromones he can through his scent.

“Okay!” Sabre says cheerfully, clapping her hands lightly together so she doesn't startle anyone. “Why don't you go sit in the garden?”

Victor nods and almost moves towards the door already before Sabre speaks again. “Yuuri, remember,” she says with a reassuring smile, while Yuuri's eyes settle on her, “I'd like to remind you that this is only the first of the five meetings you can have with Victor before you let us know whether you accept him as your support alpha or not. Take your time, dear. If something doesn't convince you or you change your mind about this, just talk to one of our omegas who will be in the garden the entire time of the meeting. They are trained to recognize how you feel just by your scent, though, so don't worry if you don't feel like you can call for help because they _will_ know already. Alright?”

Victor feels a bit hurt by Sabre's words, but he ignores it. He knows that, right now, his feelings simply aren't as important as Yuuri's. His job in this moment in time is to make sure that Yuuri feels safe, and only that. It shouldn't matter to him if Sabre has known him since he was a child and it feels weird to hear her speak about him as if he might somehow break her trust and fail to put Yuuri at ease. Here, all the attention and care are put on those who need it, as they should be. Victor's fragile ego will survive.

Sabre turns towards him and finds him smiling lightly at himself, amused by his own acting like a whimpering pup who's been told to be careful with something fragile even when he's always behaved perfectly well. He understands now. He nods back when Sabre nods at him, and offers Yuuri a genuine smile as Sabre extends an arm towards the door, signalling for them to leave.

When they walk past the threshold, it feels like they've stepped in a completely different world. This is real, Victor thinks as he crosses the garden and walks towards an empty spot to their right. Yuuri is actually alive, and breathing, and so close he could touch him. Not that he will. But it's proof that this is all happening, and not just in Victor's imagination. _Do you remember Sochi?_

He wants to ask Yuuri. _Do you remember how we danced, and laughed, and how I fell in love with you?_

They sit down, and Victor suddenly feels out of breath. _Did you fall in love with me, too?_

He bites back the words that are desperately pushing against his teeth to leave his mouth. He offers Yuuri and Aiko a smile instead – Aiko buries the side of her face deeper into Yuuri's chest, but doesn't stop eyeing Victor curiously. It's all she's been doing ever since she saw him.

 _You smell wonderful and you have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen in my life_ , is what Victor wants to tell Yuuri. “I didn't know you wore glasses normally,” is what he says instead.

They sit down on a blanket that has already been laid out for them in the garden, putting some distance in between their bodies. Yuuri pushes his glasses a little higher on the bridge of his nose again, perhaps self-conscious about it now that Victor mentioned them. “What do you mean?” He asks quietly. “Normally?”

He doesn't look up from where he's watching Aiko watch Victor, but he frowns. “You know me?”

Victor opens his mouth to reply and immediately closes it. He reminds himself this is not the right time to be blatantly honest – he has choose his words carefully and to be kind. “Yuuri,” he smiles, even if his heart aches at the mere thought that Yuuri might think that Victor didn't even know he existed. “I watched your performances. You don't wear your glasses on the ice.”

He continues before Yuuri can comment on that, because he can easily guess that Yuuri is more than ready to mention his very last disastrous performance. “I knew you wore glasses after competitions, but I thought they were, um – headache glasses. Like, that you put them on after your performances just because the lights hurt your eyes and gave you a headache.”

Victor listens to himself going on about Yuuri's glasses and realizes just how ridiculous he sounds. He laughs weakly at his own expense. “I'm sorry, that – that's ridiculous. I know. That's...”

He trails off when he lifts his gaze up and finds Yuuri's eyes fastened on him.

“You watched my performances?” Yuuri asks, sounding more than just surprised. Disbelieving.

This time, Victor just can't tell himself to thread carefully. “Of course I did!” He replies, perhaps a bit too enthusiastic. “They were so beautiful, Yuuri. I love your step-sequences. And you have so much stamina!”

Yuuri chuckles nervously as he brushes a hand through his daughter's black hair. “My last performance was horrible,” he says quietly, smiling resignedly at himself. “My dog died the same day. I was heartbroken.”

Victor's brows lift almost all the way up his forehead. He almost extends an arm to take Yuuri's hand to comfort him before he remembers it's strictly necessary he do not touch Yuuri. “I didn't know that,” he replies softly. “What... What was his name? Her name? If you don't mind me asking?”

Aiko starts playing with a button of Yuuri's cardigan, and Yuuri smiles fondly at her when she gets frustrated at it because she can't gnaw at it properly, since it's sewn into the fabric. “Vicchan. His name was Vicchan,” Yuuri says, still smiling lightly at his daughter. “He was a miniature poodle.”

“A poodle?!” Victor nearly screams. His mouth shapes into a heart as he brings his closed fists close to his chest, trying and failing to calm his enthusiasm down. “I've got a poodle too! Her name is Makkachin! She's the best dog in the world!”

He unlocks his phone and immediately shows Makkachin's photos to Yuuri. “Here!” He says cheerfully, heart-shaped smile firmly set on his lips and eyes bright and happy. “Can I bring her here next time? I'm sure she'd be _delighted_ to meet you! And don't worry about Aiko, Makka's so good with children, I swear! I swear!”

Yuuri blinks at the pictures on Victor's phone. “Right,” he mumbles, as if to himself. Then his eyes lift back up to Victor's. He tries to give the phone back to him, but Aiko intercepts his hand and grabs it with her little fists.

“Want to see more photos of Makka?” Victor coos at her in a high-pitched voice. “Here, just let me...”

He unlocks the phone again and lets Aiko stare at the screen for the entirety of three seconds before she starts swiping left and right on her own to look at all other pictures of Makkachin he has in that folder. She screeches happily at every new photo she sees. Victor laughs, already fond.

“Sorry,” Yuuri offers quietly. "She can already work phones.”

He shifts Aiko in his arms. Victor wonders if he's tired of carrying her all the time. She doesn't look heavy at all since she's very skinny, but Yuuri is skinny too. “About Makkachin...” Yuuri continues, and Victor's heart unexpectedly goes crazy just by hearing him refer to his best girl by her name instead of saying _your dog_ , “I'd...”

His careful, almost blank expression suddenly softens. It feels like a punch in Victor's stomach: Yuuri's gaze turns a little bright, the light in his eyes unexpectedly less dimmed than it was just a second ago. “I'd love to meet her. Aiko has never seen a dog up close. I'm sure she'll love her.”

“Amazing!” Victor nearly squeals. “I can't wait!”

Upon watching his happy face, Aiko's own little face scrunches up in delight. Something in Victor just melts.

I promise, he tells Yuuri and Aiko in his mind. I promise I'll do everything in my power to make you happy.

His heart won't stop pounding in his chest.

Victor already knows it's not going to slow down any time soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed. Great things are coming~

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is appreciated. Also, if anyone's interested in beta-reading this fanfic, I would be endlessly grateful~


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